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HALL of FAME

Little Johnny is in school, and the Teacher says "For today's lesson class, we will be learning the word 'contagious', and how to use it in a sentence. Can anyone give me an example of how this word might be used?"

Little Johnny is the only kid to put up his hand. The teacher says "No one else?", looks around and then reluctantly says "Okay little Johnny, use 'contagious' in a sentence."

Little johnny says "MY daddy used it today. He went to the front window and saw my mom mowing the grass. Then he said What the fuck's she doing using the push-mower? It'll take that cunt ages!

Little Johnny's mother taught him to say 'whisper' whenever he had to 'tinkle.' One day Little Johnny's grandpa paid them a visit. He was lying on the couch taking a nap when Little Johnny came up to him and said, "Grandpa, I have to whisper." Without opening his eyes, his grandpa said, "Whisper in my ear, son." When Little Johnny's mom heard a yell that carried for several blocks, she came running. "What's the matter?" she cried. Then, seeing Little Johnny she asked, "Did Little Johnny have to whisper?" "Yes!" the old man shouted, "Thank God he didn't have to shout!"